What She Really Wants
by zimmybob
Summary: When Lily realises that Sev isn't who she thought he was, she feels she must settle for James. However true feelings can't be ignored.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Hello everyone! This is my first fanfic so please don't be too harsh! It's mainly a Lily/Sev pairing with a little James too. Bit of a love triangle I suppose! Please review, it would really help! **

* * *

"Do you have to do that?" Snape eyed Lily as she rolled up the hem of her skirt so that it was dangerously close to showing her underwear.

"You don't have to look," she replied coolly as she stretched out beside him in the sun.  
"It's not me who's looking," he grumbled as a group of third years walked past, ogling at her.

She turned her head to the side and squinted at him. "Maybe you should get your legs out, Sev, you can't be comfortable sat out here in those robes," she said, smirking.

"Shut up," he smirked back. "That's what the shade's for." He pointed to the tall tree towering above him. "Oh, Merlin!" He added suddenly, then proceeded to pull his sweater off over his head and flung it across Lily's legs, much to her displeasure.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing? I'm trying to - "

"That's sexual harassment, that is, _Snivellus_," came a voice in front of them. Lily quickly grabbed Snape's sweater and pulled it over herself, nodding at him gratefully. She didn't want James Potter looking at her body either.

"You can't just go around touching girls however you like," Sirius Black sneered as the group approached the couple.

"Girls like to be clean, Snivellus. How can they manage that when you're trying to touch them?" Potter added.

Lily readjusted her skirt to it's proper length before getting to her feet. "Leave him alone," she said threateningly.

"Or what?" Sirius stepped forward and folded his arms.

Lily drew out her wand and pointed it at them, narrowing her eyes.

"Don't, Lily," came Snape's voice, who was still sat on the ground. He got up clumsily, causing the others to snigger. "Let's just go."

He began to walk away from the others, who for a moment just stared after him until James began to follow him.

Sensing trouble, Lily abandoned her bag and belongings beneath the tree and went after James and her best friend.

"I don't know how you think you can show your slimy face outdoors," James called to Snape as he approached him. "It's an offence to nature, surely!"

"Stop it!" Lily hissed, fast approaching the two. "I told you to leave him alone!"

James ignored her and sent a stunning spell flying dangerously close to his ear. Lily marched up behind James and shoved him in the back, causing him to stumble. "Didn't you hear what I said?!" she growled.

A few metres ahead of them, Snape stopped and turned back. He didn't want Lily to get hurt, and he knew how vicoius Potter was if he didn't get his way. Walking back down to them, he grabbed Lily by her arm and attempted to pull her away from Potter.

"Come on, Lily. Just walk away..."

"No!" She wrenched her arm out of his grasp and turned to him. "No, Sev! You can't keep running away from them! You need to stand up for yourself!"

"He can't - he's so pathetic that he has to have girls fight his battles for him instead." Sirius and the rest of the group had caught up.

"He wouldn't need to fight any battles if you bastards would leave him alone!" she said through gritted teeth as Snape turned again and began to walk back up to the castle.

Before anyone could stop him, James sent an orange spell at Snape which hit him square in the back. For a few seconds nothing happened, until an invisible forced wrenched Snape's legs to the sides and flung him upside down, levitating in the air. His robes fell over his head, obstructing his sight and confusing him further.

"No!" Lily screamed, not knowing if she should run to her friend or to hit Potter. "Let him go! Put him down!" she yelled in James' face, but the others just laughed.

"Right - who want's to see me take off Snivelly's trousers?" James laughed, malice in his voice.

Snape was flailing about in the air, trying his hardest to reach his own wand and do anything that would help himself. He'd just about got a grip on the wand in his trouser pocket until another invisible force pulled the already loose band from around his waist and he felt his trousers slide off of his legs.

"Stop!" He could hear Lily screaming. "Stop - it - you - great - horrible - brute!"

Something must have happened to James as Snape suddenly fell to the ground in a crumpled heap. Lily stopped thumping James on the back and ran over to her best friend, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Sev - Severus, are you okay?! I'm so sorry, Sev - speak to me! Are you alright?" She tried to help him to his feet but he pushed her away.

"You bastard," she hissed at James, who was in hysterics, laughing with his friends. "Look what you've done to him!"

By now Snape had managed to put his trousers back on but the humiliation was still humming in his ears. Lily tried once again to help him to his feet. He groaned and let her.

"Come on, Sev, let's get you to the hospital wing..."

He groaned again and then pushed away the delicate hand that was supporting him underneath his ribs. "Leave me," he said to her quietly. Snape wanted to be alone, he needed to be alone. He couldn't stand that Lily had witnessed him being humiliated in such a way.

Why hadn't she tried to help, he thought bitterly, why had she just yelled at Potter instead of helping him get down?

"_Severus," _she said sternly, "you need the hospital, you look a mess - "

"I said leave me!"

"I'm trying to help you!" Lily said indignantly.

"I don't need help from a mudblood."

He regretted it as soon as the word had left his mouth. He didn't need to see her face to know the sheer disappointment and sadness, not to mention shock, that his best friend was now feeling - all because of him. Her hand slid slowly away from the position underneath his arm, and she took a step back from him.

Lily could feel tears welling up inside her but was determined not to let them out. She was speechless, how could he say such a thing to her?

Snape turned his head to look at her, not daring to make eye contact. "Lily..."

She sniffed and shook her head. "Just go," she whispered, still fighting back tears.

"Lily, I - "

She turned her head away from him, unable to hold her tears any longer.

Snape couldn't take it. He hated to see her cry. He hated knowing that he had made her cry. The worst part it that there was absolutley nothing he could do about it now - the damage was already done. He could do nothing but leave.

With Snape out of sight and earshot, Lily broke down. She dropped to her knees, tears streaming silently down her cheeks. The laughter of the other boys had stopped and she'd realised that they were now stood by her, gazing at her silently.

She didn't care. They could look all they want. They could watch her cry, they could call her pathetic, but she didn't care. She was too shocked and hurt by the words of her best friend.

How could he?

She was only half aware that someone had gently lifted her to her feet and was now walking her back up to the castle. She hoped they'd take her straight up to her dormitory - all she wanted to do was sleep and pretend that it had all been a dream.


	2. Chapter 2

Lily had cried herself to sleep and had slept the remainder of that afternoon and evening, until she was woken at around eleven o'clock by a soft voice.

"Lily, Lily I'm sorry to wake you - "

Lily groaned a little as she opened her eyes to see Mary Macdonald.

"It's just, Snape's been waiting outside the portrait hole for about two hours... h-he says he won't leave until he talks to you."

Lily groaned again as she got out of bed. "Two hours?" she asked and her friend nodded. "Merlin..." she grumbled.

She picked up her dressing gown from the foot of her bed and put it on over her night dress. Just before she left the dormitory, Mary said, "Lily, James and his friends are down there. I just thought I'd warn you."

"Fantastic," she muttered to herself as she walked out of the door. The common room was deserted besides James and co. Sirius, Remus and Peter slouched over the sofas and James pacing in front of the fireplace. He stopped when he saw Lily enter the room.

"How are you feeling? Do you want me to go out and hit him?" He asked her solemnly.

She didn't look at him, only shook her head. She stopped just before the portrait hole and took a deep breath.

She opened the door and slid out quietly. Snape spun around straight away, he'd been leaning against the wall.

"Lily! I - I didn't think you'd come, I - "

It was dark, but she could see the pained look on his face, the concern in his eyes. Snape noticed the look on her face, her emerald green eyes refused to meet his and just stared at the floor.

"What do you want?" she asked quietly.

"Lily," he began slowly. "Lily, I'm so sorry. Really I am, it just slipped out! You know I'd never call _you_ a … You know I wouldn't!"

"Oh," Lily smirked sourly to herself. "So you're happy to call others by that name, but not me? What's the difference?"

"I - the - the difference is you! Lily, you're my best friend!"

"Not anymore," she scoffed, still refusing to meet his eyes.

"No - I said I'm sorry!" Snape gasped at her. "What else do you want me to do?! I'm so, so sorry! I can't emphasize - "

"Save your breath," she shot at him. "Obviously your creepy Slytherin friends have more of your respect than I do."

She made to turn to go back into the common room, but he grabbed her wrist to stop her.

"Get off of me," she said, dangerously quiet.

"Lily - "

She turned her head and looked him in the eyes for the first time that night and whispered, "Let me go." She could feel tears building up again. She really didn't want to leave. She wanted to tell him it was fine, that their friendship could withstand anything but... she couldn't find it in her heart to forgive him. Not yet. "If you don't let go of my arm, I'll - "

"What?" he asked her. "What will you do? Because nothing can hurt me more if you walk away now."

She didn't want to stay any longer, it would just upset her further. His firm grasp on her wrist wasn't loosening, so she raised her free hand, ready to slap him, but he caught her other hand in mid air so that she had no escape.

For a few moments he just gazed at her, deep into her glittering eyes. He could see the tears rising in her eyes, ready to spill down over her cheeks. Lily thought he was going to kiss her, and the thought had passed through his mind, too.

Suddenly he pulled her towards him, letting go of her wrists, and simply hugged her. He wrapped his arms around her and clung to her back, burying his face in her deep red hair. This took Lily by surprise but instinctively she hugged him back, letting tears spill down her cheeks and onto his chest.

After a few moments she took another deep breath, placed both hands on his chest and gently pushed him away.

"Just go," she sniffed. "Go. We can't be friends anymore." She didn't wait for him to leave before she turned around herself and slipped back through the portrait hole.

Back in the common room, James was still stood by the fireplace waiting intently to hear what had happened.

"Well?"

"Well what?" Lily sniffed, wiping her wet cheeks.

"You know what, is that slimy little git going to bother you again? Did he call you... you know... again?"

Lily took a moment to compose herself, and then said bitterly, "I appreciate your concern, _Potter, _but no."

"No...? No what?"

Suddenly something snapped in Lily's mind, and she marched over to him, so close that their faces were just inches apart.

"Don't you _dare _try and be helpful now, Potter. This is all your fault! I've lost my best friend and it's all your fault!"

James' mouth opened, ready to retort, but Lily went on, "If you weren't a foul, bullying little toe rag, none of this would ever have happened! You had no need to bully him in the first place! What, you hated him just because of the house he's in?"

James readjusted his glasses. "I - "

"Or because you were jealous?!" Lily continued to yell at him. "Because I won't go out with you? Because I'd rather spend time with my best friend that with a bully like you?! You're a joke. I'm going back to bed."

"You're still defending him, after what he called you?!" He shouted after her, but she took no notice.

She stomped back up the staircase to the dormitory and shot him an evil look over the balcony before going in the room and slamming the heavy door behind her.

* * *

Lily woke early the next morning, thankful that it was a Saturday. No one would be around this early. She got dressed and headed down to the library, hoping it would be fairly empty all day due to everyone being at Hogsmeade.

Truthfully, she had no mind for working. She just wanted to be alone, but she didn't want to think. Unfortunately this was near impossible, and thoughts of the previous night took over. In her dreams the incident of the day before had played over and over in her head. She just wanted an escape.

She felt awful walking away from her best friend, but what else could she do? He'd done something that couldn't be lightly forgiven. She knew that people would be talking about what happened, people would have heard, there would be rumors. She knew that for days she'd be hearing, "I told you so," or "I knew that Snape wasn't as nice as you thought, Lily". What was she to do? Act like nothing was wrong, she was fine and unaffected by it all? Or act like the depressed mess she was feeling and give everyone the satisfaction?

She was worried, too. Worried that now she and Snape weren't constantly together, James and his friends would be free to bully him, to make his life hell, even if he did sort of deserve it. She knew they'd be relentless. She was scared that Snape would become obsessed with his Slytherin friends and she didn't want him turning into the same sort of heartless creeps that they were.

She groaned and let her head fall to the table she was sat at.

"The day after the night before? I know how that feels," came a friendly voice from behind her.

She looked around and saw the shabby robes and tired face of Remus Lupin smiling down at her sympathetically.

"What do _you _want?" she asked bitterly.

"Absolutely nothing," he answered, and walked past her.

He disappeared for about an hour or so, and the library remained silent. That was until a loud pair of footsteps came down the corridor and into the room. Lily closed her eyes in disbelief, could she not get away from Potter anywhere?

"Moony!" Sirius called, and his tired face poked out from the back of the library. "I thought you were coming with us to Hogsmeade? What on earth are you doing?! ...Go and see what he's doing, James..."

Lily held her hand to the side of her face as James walked past her, praying he wouldn't say anything. He didn't, but Sirius did.

"Don't be too hard on him, Evans," he said, slowly approaching her.

She stared at him incredulously. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, he did help you back up to the castle yesterday..."

"So?!" she scoffed, she had completely forgotten about that. "You think that one small act of kindness is enough to make up for what he's done? Not just to me, but to Sev?!"

Her timing couldn't have been more worse. As soon as she'd finished her sentence, the tall, slim figure of Snape appeared at the library doorway, and he stopped dead. Lily's eyes widened in shock.

"O-oh!" Sirius said with relish. "Look which slimy bastard has scuttled out of his hole!"

James' head popped back out from behind the bookcase where Lupin was, and his eyes narrowed. Lily saw this tiny change in his body language and shot him a look as threateningly as she could.

Snape tried his hardest to ignore them all and walked calmly over to the Dark Arts section, and took out a book.

"Hey, Snivelly! If you're interested in that, I know something you might be interest - OI!"

Sirius didn't get a chance to finish as Snape had left the library in a flash, obviously not wanting to linger around Lily.

"Bastard..." Sirius muttered as he headed over to his friends behind the bookcase.

"What were you going to say to him?" came James' muffled voice.

"Touch the knot on the Willow and follow the passage. I'm sure that'd interest him!" Sirius laughed.

"You fools," came Lupin's voice. "What if he'd have gone tonight?!"

"Even better!"

"I don't know," James' voice followed, "I loathe the little cockroach but, that'd be a pretty bad idea..."

Lily listened, puzzled, but thankful that Snape had left. She was trying not to care about him at the minute but she didn't want anything awful to happen to him. She knew he found it hard to ignore his sense of curiosity, and that would have intrigued him greatly. Unfortunately for Lily, she also found it hard to ignore her curiosity.


	3. Chapter 3

There were a few perks to being good friends with a prefect, which Lily had found out since the start of her fifth year when her friend Mary had been made one. She knew when it was safe to sneak about the castle at night as she knew the other patrol schedules of the other prefects. All she had to do was sneak a peak at Mary's timetable list and she'd be free to roam around the deserted areas of the castle whenever she pleased.

It was on this occasion that Lily took advantage of this. She was determined to find out what kind of 'interesting' thing Sirius had tried to threaten Snape with. She was hoping that she'd be able to catch them before they pulled whatever kind of prank they were planning to pull and give them a good telling to.

At around ten o'clock she snuck out of the common room and left the castle grounds. She knew that the greenhouse doors weren't locked until midnight – there were certain plants that needed moonlight to survive but were too precious to be left outside.

Taking out her wand, she cast _Lumos _and made her way around to the Whomping Willow. _Passage, did he say? _she thought, _how on earth is there a passage below the Willow…? _When she reached the huge, thick tree, she tried her best to study it in the dim light her wand provided, taking as much care as possible not to disturb the tree.

After a minute or so she found what she was looking for, or at least what she thought could only be what she was looking for – a large, distinct, twisting knot in the thick trunk of the decrepit plant.

_"Wingardium Leviosa," _she whispered at a nearby rock on the ground, and skilfully guided it through the air before flinging it at the centre of the knot. She waited for a couple of seconds and nothing happened. Then, the branches began to shake and curl, curling so much so that a clear gap was made through the twisting roots to reveal what looked like an oversized rabbit warren – what she assumed was the passage that the others had spoken of.

She took a deep breath before tip-toeing over the bumps and roots in the ground, and ducked her head as she slid down into the muddy hole beneath the Willow.

There were twigs and stray roots hanging from the roots of the passage, and several times she caught her hair. She'd been following the hidden route for almost half an hour in complete silence, which was broken abruptly by a quiet noise, perhaps a whimper, that could have only been made by a dog.

Curious but a little frightened, Lily debated going back. _I've already come this far, _she thought to herself, pressing forward. She'd only gone a few steps further when she accidentally walked straight into a spider's web, which threw her completely off guard and she dropped her wand, before squealing rather loudly.

There was a deep sound like the creak of a floorboard, then the slamming of a door. Lily began to panic. It was pitch black and she was wandless. She'd lost her sense of direction. Another sound broke the silence, a low snarl of some vicious beast, and it didn't sound too far away.

Lily stood rooted to the spot, heart thumping against her chest. Another low snarl, followed by the sharp bark of a dog echoed down the muddy passage.

"Calm down, Lily," she said out loud to herself. "Whatever it is, it's just a stupid joke. Nothing's going to hurt you, you're going to be fine. Just calm-"

Another snarl, this time louder and more aggressive. More barking, loud and sharp in the silence. Then the sound of a door slamming again, followed by footsteps running quickly down a set of stairs.

Lily held her breath. She dared not move as her heart beat faster and faster against her ribs. From the corner of her eye, a bright light appeared, and Lily squealed again in shock.

"E-Evans?!"

Lily squinted towards the direction of the light, which she now recognised as wand light.

"Who – who's there?" she stammered, trying but failing to sound just a little brave.

The light drew closer until she could see the face of the person behind it.

"Potter!" she exclaimed, her voice becoming stronger. "I knew it! What on earth were you planning to do, you-"

"Shhhh!" He hissed at her, finger at his lips.

"Don't you tell me to-"

More banging and growling from above.

"Lily, you need to keep as quiet as you can," James breathed at her. She thought he was just putting on an act until she saw the fear in his eyes.

"What on earth is going on?!" She hissed, "What are you doing down here, what-"

A thunderous crash from above made her physically jump, and her heart began beating madly again as there was a tremendous growl, a dull thud and a pained whimper.

"We need to get out of here – _right now," _he looked at her, desperately.

Lily had no time to wonder if he was still joking around; she was genuinely frightened and wanted out. James held a finger to his lips and then made a gesture for him to follow her.

"Wait!" Lily whispered, "My wand! I dropped my wand!"

She ran back a few steps and dropped to a crouch, patting about on the floor like a blind man, desperately looking for her wand.

"There's no time!" James hissed as the banging and crashing from above intensified. "_Evans!" _

"I just – need – wand!"

James groaned and ran back over to her, grabbed her under her arm and hoisted her to her feet, half dragging her away.

"No – OW! I need my wand!" she tugged at his grasp. For a few moments they struggled in the darkness until there was an almighty thud not far behind them, accompanied by low, breathy snarls.

"OUT!" James roared at her, and she was too terrified to argue. He pulled her by the arm all the way back out of the passage, letting go only to clamber out of the root covered entrance. He grabbed both of her hands and pulled her up out of the hole with such force that she fell on top of him

They stayed in that position panting for a minute, before Lily came to her senses and rolled off of him and sat up.

"WHAT… IN THE… BLAZES… WAS THAT?!" She gasped angrily.

James didn't answer. He continued panting on his back. Lily thumped him on the shoulder. "Potter!"

He then sat up, still panting slightly and looked at Lily, eyes wide. "What the fuck do you think you were doing?!" he asked her angrily. "Did you think you were clever, following us down-"

Lily shook her head violently. "I didn't follow you down there!"

"Then how…?"

"I heard you, in the library! You were planning on sending Severus down there! Are you fucking crazy?! Sending someone down there – that's… What was that down there?!"

"I can't…" James muttered. "Just… something extremely dangerous."

Lily glared at him in disbelief. "But not dangerous enough for the mighty James Potter?" she sneered.

"You – you don't understand," he ran his fingers through his hair.

Lily's eyes widened. Suddenly it all made sense to her. "Lupin…" she whispered, accidentally out loud.

"You _knew?" _James gasped.

"No, but… thinking about it…"

Everything had clicked into place. Lupin's frequent absences around the full moon, his scarred, tired face, shabby robes… Snape had also mentioned how suspicious this seemed and she had also had the tiniest inkling before that Lupin may have been a werewolf, but had dismissed the thought almost immediately when she realised how absurd it was. But it wasn't, it was true.

She looked back at James and slapped him sharply across the cheek. "Sev thought so as well! If he'd have gone down there, you wouldn't have helped him! You would have let him-"

"If you were listening so intently earlier," James interrupted bitterly, "You'd know that it wasn't me who thought it was a good idea. It was Sirius!"

"That doesn't change anything," she snapped.

"You're so ungrateful," James frowned at her. "I hope you realise I've just saved your life."

He got to his feet and dusted off his trousers, marching back up to the castle. Lily's mouth opened in anger, and she got up and hurried after him.

"You can't just walk away!" she cried, "What if he comes back, what if he gets out?"

"He won't."

"But you don't know th-"

"How could you be so stupid?" he said to her as she matched his walking pace. "You could have _died!"_

Lily stopped in her tracks. He was right; she could have gotten herself into some real trouble. She had been stupid to go somewhere that Sirius had relished Snape going and getting hurt.

"Even more so," James was still walking ahead, "You could have put Sirius and me in real danger!"

Lily looked at the ground. "I-I'm sorry," she called back to him. "I didn't know."

He shook his head and made a noise of frustration.

"W-where are you going?" she caught up with him again.

"To Dumbledore," he grumbled. "He needs to know what's happened." He stopped, not realising she was right behind him, and they almost collided. He let out a huff of air and then looked at Lily, deep in her eyes. He placed both of his hands on her shoulders to make sure she was listening.

"You won't be able to tell anyone. Do you understand? _Nobody."_

She nodded weakly. "Will – will I have to go to Dumbledore with you?"

"I expect so. I don't think he'll be very happy."

Lily bit her lip, the reality of her stupidity beginning to hit her hard. They slipped back into the castle via the unlocked greenhouse door, and made their way up to Dumbledore's office. They passed a Ravenclaw prefect who just ogled at them, covered in dirt and sweat.

"Where d'you think-"

"Save it," James snapped at him, "We're going to Dumbledore anyway." The boy let them pass, bewildered.

"Pumpkin Pasty," James said tonelessly to the statue before the headmaster's office. Lily had never been to his office before and watched the statues curiously as the small staircase was revealed. She followed James up it, purposely lagging behind. She was nervous - would Dumbledore expel her for her stupid curiosity?

James rapped sharply on the door, and it opened.

"Ah, James," came the soft voice from inside. "Is everything alright? Shouldn't you be with Remus?" He noticed Lily hiding behind James. "Ah," he said softly. "Do come in – the both of you."

They did as they were told, and Dumbledore rose from his chair, conjured up two chairs and gestured for them to sit down.

"I can only infer," he began slowly, "that this means that our, ah, little secret," his eyes twinkled at James, "is no longer a secret?"

James gave a little nod, and Dumbledore turned to Lily.

"I trust you know the severity of the situation, Miss Evans?" he asked, and she nodded meekly. "And that you also know that I am now forced to swear you to secrecy?" Lily nodded again.

"Mr Lupin's… condition… is not something we want made public," he smiled reassuringly at her, sensing her nerves. "At least not until his education is over and he is free to make his own choices on the matter."

"Yes, sir."

"I trust you, Miss Evans, and I'm sure Mr Lupin and his friends will too, but you must swear to me that you won't tell a soul."

"Yes, sir. I swear," Lily said awkwardly.

"Then you are both excused." He waved his hand dismissively and they left.

They walked back down the corridor in silence, Lily finally managing to calm herself.

"You – you know I wouldn't say anything anyway, don't you?" she said quietly to James.

"No, not really," James replied bluntly. "For all I know you might run off to Snivellus and tell our secret."

Lily frowned. "I wouldn't. Why would I? It's none of my business. I don't want to expose Lupin."

"Whatever, Evans," he said harshly. "I know you hate me, so why should I trust you?"

He fleeting look before stalking down the corridor and out of sight.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Hello, I'm back with another chapter - I'm trying to update as often as I can! I've noticed that there are a few readers, which is great! Please could you leave reviews? I'd love to hear any constructive criticism or any thoughts on my story! Happy reading!**

* * *

Over the weekend, Lily had done a lot of thinking. As much as she hated to admit it, James had been right. She'd been stupid to go down beneath the Whomping Willow and he _had _saved her life. She figured she should be grateful for that. Lily was also hurt that James had assumed she wouldn't keep quiet. _I know you hate me so why should I trust you_, that's what he'd said.

Lily didn't _hate_ James as such, but she did have an extreme sense of dislike towards him. After all, he had never offended or done anything bad to her – it was quite the opposite really – but she couldn't stand his ruthless bulling and arrogant demeanour. He knew all too well that he was respected, wealthy and not to mention seen as very attractive by almost every girl at Hogwarts, and this had obviously gone straight to his head.

Be that as it may, she did owe him her life. She thought that she could at least manage a thank you for his trouble. This was why Lily found herself walking down to the Great Hall for breakfast, with the intention of passing Potter on the way. She approached his table, occupied by himself and a very tired and rough looking Remus, Sirius and Peter. Sirius raised his head in surprise as she approached them, then notified James, who turned around.

_Great, _Lily thought, _I wasn't expecting an audience._

She stopped at their table, and forced herself to make eye contact, wanting to look as sincere as she felt. "I- I just wanted to say thank you," she said a little too quickly, and James raised his eyebrows.

"Excuse me?"

"I wanted to say thank you," she said slower, feeling the blood rise to her face.

"For what?" he asked her coolly.

Lily frowned. "For – you know what I mean!"

Sirius, Remus and Peter were watching, apparently amused.

"I've no idea what you're talking about," he said and turned back to his breakfast.

Lily knew his game; she knew what he was trying to do – make her feel stupid. As if she didn't feel stupid enough already.

"Are you really going to make me say it?" Lily whined, and James turned to face her again.

"Say what?"

Lily sighed angrily before stepping a little closer, and then she hissed as quietly as she could, "_For saving my life."_

James put down his spoon. "I'm having trouble hearing you, Evans, do you think you could-"

She made an angry noise. "I said thank you for saving my life!" she snapped a little too loudly, and a few heads turned.

James grinned, clearly satisfied. "Well, when you put it that way…" he raised his eyebrows again, "Then you're welcome."

Lily was unsure what to do next, and just stood there awkwardly, until Remus gestured the bench and said, "Sit down, if you'd like."

She looked at each of their faces and then at the seat.

"What?" James asked. "Do you have somewhere better to be?"

_No, _Lily thought sadly, _I don't. _Since she was no longer friends with Snape, she'd realised that she wouldn't be able to spend breakfast, lunch, dinner, breaks and weekends with him. In fact, he was the only person that she'd really spent much time with since the start of her time at Hogwarts and it dawned on her that besides Mary, she didn't have many other good friends.

"No," she smiled a little and quickly took the seat. She understood that this may not have been the best move. Now what? Besides bullying her best friend, she knew almost nothing about these people. She sat awkwardly playing with her hands on her lap, hoping someone would start a conversation.

"I hope I didn't scare you too much last night," Remus said quietly, "James says you were terrified when he found you."

She eyed James, frowning. "I wasn't terrified! I just – okay, a little," she finished weakly.

"Don't worry about it," he smiled softly, "I'm enough to make anyone a little scared. You're just lucky that Sirius stopped me getting to you both."

Lily looked over to Sirius, but then she remembered whose idea the whole thing had been in the first place, whose idea would have surely got Snape hurt, or worse, if it had been as he had planned.

Sirius hadn't spoken since she'd approached them, nor looked up from his cereal, at which he was staring guiltily into. Thinking it was best to avoid talking to him for now, she turned back to Remus.

"I just want you to know," she lowered her voice, "That you don't need to worry. I'm not going to tell anyone – I wouldn't dream of getting you all into trouble over this. I mean it, you can trust me." She directed her last sentence at James, who seemed to have accepted that she was really telling the truth. They all nodded gratefully and muttered their thank you's.

The school bell rang, indicating first period, and the crowds of breakfasting students began to move as the hum of their voices increased. Lily waited until the boys had got up and left before she joined the packed horde of people battling to get out of the hall.

"Oi! Evans!" a voice called from the other side, and she could just about make out the messy, black hair of James slowly getting closer. "What are you doing? Get a move on!" He grabbed her arm, similar to how he had done the night before and before she knew it she was being pulled through various students, getting poked and prodded by elbows, and then she was on the other side.

"I – Why were you waiting?" she stammered, confused.

"Charms, remember? There's no point you walking alone."

Lily knew what James was up to. He thought that now she'd spoken to him, thanked him and gave him just a bit of respect, he had her. She'd be friends with him and he'd finally get his way.

"What have I got to lose," she mumbled to herself quietly. "It's not like I have to worry about Sev anymore…"

"What's the matter?" James interrupted her train of thought. She just shook her head and smiled.

"Nothing."

"I know you'll find this is a little strange but… After last night… and since your slimy friend is out of the picture," his voice trailed as she gave him a disapproving look. "Anyway – I was hoping that we could at least _try _to be friends."

"You're kidding," Lily scoffed. "You're just trying to ask me out again, aren't you?!"

"Well no," James ruffled up his hair, "I actually wasn't. But now that you mention it, you do sort of owe me."

She shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe you."

"No! No," James tried to justify himself. "No, I just mean that, I don't know, if you got to know me, you might like me," his voice was hopeful.

"I'd thought I'd made it clear to you that I don't want to get to know you. You're a bully."

"_Still, _with the bully thing? Move on, Evans!"

Lily stopped on the staircase and several second-years squashed past her.

"_Move on?!" _she exclaimed, "You should have taken your own advice years ago, and maybe you wouldn't have ended up such a toe-rag! I get it, you don't like Severus, but did you really need to turn it into such a farce?!"

James sighed. "Look, I've already said this. Sniv – _Snape _– isn't around anymore so you don't need to worry about me being such a _bully,"_ he added a mocking tone on his last word, and Lily folded her arms. "Please, just one date? You do owe me, Evans."

Lily knew that now James thought he had her in his grasp, he wasn't going to back down. "If I say yes, will you stop asking?" she sighed, and James nodded eagerly. "Fine, I'll think about it," she muttered, eyeing James as he grinned all the way up to the Charms classroom.

Lily shook her head slightly. _What are you getting yourself into, Lily?_ _You can't be friends with him, not after… _

Another voice in the back of her head had joined in. _Who would you rather be friends with, the person who saved your life and actually respects you or the person that called you a mudblood? Give him a chance, Lily. You're a fair person._

* * *

**AN: So, we're getting into the Lily/James part of it. Don't worry, soon there'll be a bit of Sev too, I've got it all planned out. Please review! **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: I just want to say that although I'm updating daily at the moment, it's not likely to stay that way for long. Just sayin'. Anyway, this chapter is still James/Lily, their date and... I don't know, Lily's starting to mellow out a little. But I did promise some Sev soon and I will follow that through! Anyway, happy reading!**

* * *

For the next week, Lily tried but failed to spend as little time with James and his friends as she could. When she was with them, usually the odd meal or walking to and from classes, she felt like she was betraying herself. All these years she'd made a point of not being friendly to James seemed wasted now.

"Stop it, Lily," she found herself saying in the library on a Friday afternoon. "Just because you aren't friends with Sev anymore… It doesn't mean you aren't aloud to make new friends. Everyone deserves a second chance."

She dropped one of the many books she was holding and it landed on her toe.

"Ouch!" she cried as she bended down awkwardly to pick it back up, and three more books slid out of her arms. She heard a light chuckle and looked up in annoyance.

"Need some help?" James was smiling down at her.

"No, thank you. I'm perfectly capable," she replied tartly, regretting it the moment another book fell to the ground.

James bent over and grabbed it. "Why do you need so many books?"

"Unlike you," she sighed, "some of us actually do study." She tried to snatch the book out of his hand but he pulled it out of her reach. She sighed again and raised an eyebrow. "What do you want, Potter?"

"I've been thinking about that date you owe me," he said distractedly as Lily forced herself to suppress a groan.

"I never actually said I'd go on a date with you. I said I'd think about it."

"It's Saturday tomorrow."

"Oh, well done. You've finally learnt the days of the week," she smiled mockingly.

"I was thinking we could go to The Three Broomsticks," he continued, ignoring her remark. "Is that okay?"

"Yes, yes, whatever," she said hastily, attempting again to grab the book he was holding.

"Whatever? Well we could go somewhere else if you'd like. Isn't there's that tea place that's just opened, if you want to go somewhere more _romantic…"_

"No, no," she said hurriedly, "The Three Broomsticks is fine! Can I have my book back now?"

He stepped closer and placed the book on top of the already high pile. "See you later then," he grinned as he walked away.

"_Romantic,"_ Lily scoffed as she put down the books with a thud. "What does _he _know about romance? The git's too in love with himself to know about that kind of stuff…"

Lily set about busying herself with her studies, dreading what Potter had in store for tomorrow.

* * *

On Saturday morning, she awoke, and went to breakfast with Mary.

"Any plans for today?" she asked Lily as she bit into a slice of toast.

"Oh – Um, I'm just going into Hogsmeade for a while," she said uneasily.

"Oh?" Mary raised her eyebrows, "Alone?"

"No, with… friends…"

"You're going to have to be a little more specific," her friend replied, waving her toast around in the air. "Did you make up with Snape?"

Lily firmly shook her head. "I'm not – I don't really want to -" she spluttered, and her friend eyebrows rose higher. "James Potter," she mumbled quietly.

"NO WAY!" Mary exclaimed, "I'm jealous, I've fancied him for ages, you're so lucky – wait a minute, I thought you couldn't stand Potter?" Her eyebrows fell into a confused frown.

"I – uh – owed him a favour."

"So … what is this? A date?"

"It's a date to him, but I'm just going to shut him up."

"Merlin, it's a bloody good job you and Snape and still friends. He'd have a fit if he knew," Mary said, letting out a low whistle.

"Yeah, well," Lily sat up straight, a little more confident. "It has nothing to do with him. He's made his priorities clear."

"Right," replied Mary slowly. Then she cocked her head to the side, looking past Lily's ear. "Uh, when did you say you're meeting James?"

"I dunno," Lily answered through a mouthful of cereal. "Didn't say. Why?" She looked back up at her friend.

Mary pointed behind Lily to the entrance of the hall. Lily turned to see James stood there, smiling as she saw him.

"Fantastic," she grumbled. "I'll see you later, Mary." She picked up her back and trudged over to James. She forced a weak smile and said an awkward, "Hello," as she approached him.

"Let's go then," he said confidently, heading towards the large door.

"What – now?" Lily gasped. "Aren't we – I thought – I thought we were meeting each other there?"

"Nah, I thought it'd be better to walk down there together," he said matter-of-factly. "Problem?"

She shook her head and forced another smile, but rolled her eyes when his head was turned. _Great, _she thought, _this is probably his way of getting another hour out of it… Sly git._

James struck up a conversation almost immediately, enthusiastically telling her about the upcoming Quidditch match (Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff, apparently a certain victory for Gryffindor).

"I mean, have you _seen _Hufflepuff play? One of their beaters, Jackson, I think he's called – he's so small and weak, when he actually manages to hit a bludger it's with about the same amount of power a mouse has! They're a joke!" Lily feigned laughter and he continued. "And their chasers, they're riding such old brooms that – Merlin, I don't even think they have names. Ironic really, if you ask me…"

James continued his Quidditch talk all the way to the village, Lily barely paying attention. When they arrived at The Three Broomsticks and had sat down, he was still going.

"…and Slytherin, well, they've all got top of the range brooms, due to their Captain's _generosity - "_

She couldn't take anymore. Lily held up a hand to his face.

"I'm sorry, can you please talking about something else? Something… interesting?"

James stared at her, stunned. "Quidditch isn't… interesting?" he asked her slowly in disbelief. "I thought you were enjoying our conversation?"

Lily slumped over and her cheek fell into her hand. She couldn't have looked any less interested if she'd tried. "Hardly a conversation, you've been talking _at _me this whole time…"

James blushed a little, then said, "Okay, fine. What would you like to talk about? Lessons? Charms, Potions? Magical creatures… love potions? What's your favourite book – oh, what did you do over the summer last year?"

"You're trying too hard," she said to him tonelessly. "Just buy me a drink," she snapped, _at least that'll give me some peace for a while, _she added mentally.

While James was busy at the bar, Lily gazed around the cosy pub. There were mainly just a few old men, already deep into their drunken stupors. Then the door swung open and in walked a rowdy looking rabble of Slytherins, several of which Lily recognised – Avery, Mulciber, a very proud looking Lucius Malfoy and some other unknown students that had graduated years ago… various others she only knew by face and… Snape, trailing in at the back.

Lily's eyes widened in surprise and then she frowned angrily. What did he think he was doing, hanging around with such dangerous and dodgy people? Was he nuts?

_No, _Lily thought angrily, _Don't take any notice, you don't need to watch out for him anymore. He can associate with whatever scum he pleases, good riddance to him, if he's going to act like such an idiot…_

She hadn't noticed James return with two goblets of Butterbeer and a bowl of nuts.

"What're you looking at?" he asked and looked over to the direction she was staring. The moment his eyes fell on Snape his soft expression changed to one of pure anger and irritation. "That bastard," he hissed, "How dare he show his face?" He turned to Lily with the same furious expression, "Do you want me to go over there and kick his slimy arse out of the door?!"

"No, no!" Lily gasped anxiously, "Please, just sit down!" She leant across the table and tugged at James' sleeve. "_Please!" _

He reluctantly did as she asked and grabbed a handful of the nuts, crushing them as he glared over at Snape.

"Greasy little shit," he snarled, "I ought to go over there and -"

"Please," Lily begged him, "You said you'd leave him alone – you'd stop bullying him… I don't want any trouble…"

"I never actually said that," he growled, still glaring at Snape. "I don't know how you can stand it," he turned to her. "I don't understand how you can _bear _to see him acting like nothing's wrong, after what he called you!"

Lily looked at the table. "Don't."

"You should have hexed him, or at least hit him! And now he's over there with those sadistic Slytherin freaks, and you're just sitting there like nothing's wrong!"

"I said, don't," she repeated, quietly. "I don't want to talk about him. He can do what he likes. I was actually talking about trouble from the others," she eyed Mulciber nastily.

James gazed at her sympathetically. "I suppose you don't have to worry about who you talk to or hang around with anymore, now that he's gone?"

"What I do is none of his concern," she said evenly before sipping her drink.

"Does that mean you'll spend more time with me?" he asked her hopefully.

"It doesn't exactly mean anything," she replied slowly. "It just… Like I said, it's none of his concern."

"I really like you, Lily," James blurted out all of a sudden, the sudden use of her first name taking her by surprise, not to mention this random declaration.

Lily could feel herself going red, something which she knew would make this awkward situation worse. "I – uh, I don't think those nuts are supposed to be taken from the bar," she said, trying to change the conversation.

"Oh, shut up. You know that I like you anyway," he said calmly without batting an eyelid. "I knew you'd only reject me as long as you were friends with _him."_

"Can you stop mentioning him?! I don't want to talk about him!" she snapped hotly.

"So, can we be friends? Or more?" he pressed on, shamelessly.

Lily mouth opened in disbelief. "I- uh – I don't think- " She took a deep breath. "I don't even know if I want to be friends with you yet. And I don't know what you mean by _more, _but-"

"I mean like going ou-"

"Yes, I know what you mean!" She snapped. "I was just… Never mind."

"You and I… Sirius, Peter and Remus… We all share a secret. Isn't there some sort of unofficial law that means that you must be friends in such a situation?"

Lily scoffed.

"And besides, it's not like you have many other friends."

"Hey! I'm popular enough!"

"There's being popular," James smiled, "and then there's having some good friends. There's a difference. I should know, I'm the same."

"We aren't the same," Lily snapped.

"You know," James went on, "I thought it was just good manners to be polite and kind to someone that takes you out. Or is that just me thinking that?"

"Sorry," Lily muttered. She was just so preoccupied with her thoughts: she was actually allowing herself to be somewhat friendly and civil to James, and not having as bad of a time as she'd predicted. He'd basically invited her to join his little friendship group, something that she never would have imagine just a week earlier, and it was all just a little overwhelming.

James smiled in acknowledgment to her apology and then went on about what his parents did for a living. His mother was a healer at St. Mungo's – this was the first thing James had said that had actually interested Lily. They went on talking about healers and various professions for a while and Lily found that she was strangely beginning to enjoy herself.

The time had passed quickly and before they knew it it was late afternoon.

"I suppose we should be heading back," Lily said checking her watch and James nodded, a sad sort of expression on his face as if he was disappointed that the time had flown so fast.

"So, are you going to take up my offer? Of being friends with us lovely bunch?"

"I guess I don't have anything better to do…" Lily muttered. _He doesn't seem as bad as I'd thought and…at least Remus is nice, _she thought, _but then there is the thing about him being a deadly creature every month…_

"That's the spirit," he winked at her, evidently pleased with himself.

The pub was now packed with locals and they had to squeeze around chairs, often having to excuse themselves. It dawned on Lily that Snape and the group of Slytherins were still sat at their table, and they would have to walk past them in order to get out. James obviously hadn't realised and pushed out without incident, but things didn't go as well for Lily.

"Oh look, Snape," one of the recognised but unknown Slytherins jeered as Lily tried to squeeze past their table, "It's your little pet!"

"Ex-pet, you mean, she seems to prefer upper class, pure bloods now!" They all began to howl with laughter, jeering at Snape. Lily tried to not pay attention, put this was proving hard as one of them grabbed her wrist.

"Oi, darlin'," an older one sneered, "Is our little Snapey not good enough for you? Is 'e too pathetic?" They all began laughing again as Lily tried to pull herself free. "That's a shame, that is… I'd be 'appy to 'ave you though," he smirked nastily began taking in her body.

"Get off of me!" she yelped, attracting the attention of James who came striding back over.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" he growled, "Take your filthy hands off of her!"

The older man released Lily's wrist and stood up; cracking his knuckles.

"Or what?!" he snarled.

"Oh, do sit down, Goyle," came the cold voice of Lucius Malfoy from the corner. "You're embarrassing me."

Goyle bent over to James and pointed a meaty finger at his face. "You're lucky, you are." He looked up and down Lily's body and smirked once more before he sat down. Before any of them had a chance to do or say anything else, James took Lily's hand in his own and pulled her out into the street.

"T-Thank you," she muttered, pulling her hand away from James to rub her wrist where the man had grabbed it. "He was _foul…"_

"Aaargh!" James let out an angry roar. "Those bastards! I should go back in there – show them who's boss – I bet that slimeball put them up to it! One of these days I'm going to curse Snivellus, I swear it!"

"Calm down!" Lily said, getting worried, "I don't think that's a very good idea – let's just get back to the castle, okay?"

"What lies has he been spreading?!" James exclaimed, "I bet he's been saying all sorts about you, Lily – are you sure you don't want me to go in there and punch him?"

"Don't you dare."

James let out another angry exclamation and ran his fingers through his hair. He glowered back towards the pub and took a deep breath. "You're right," he said. "Let's go back."

Lily sighed with relief, and then they set off back towards Hogwarts in silence. James had got her thinking though, what if Snape had been saying stuff about her? And why had they called her his _pet?_ She'd hated that. For all she knew, he could have been mocking her muggle-born status – he'd done it once already, and that was to her face, so what would he do behind her back?

"I know what you're thinking," James broke the silence. "About him, what he's been saying about you. Don't worry about it. If he does anything, I'll protect you."

Lily surpassed a scoff. "I don't need _protecting!"_ She was secretly grateful to him though, but really, what could Snape ever do that she'd need protecting from? "Thanks all the same."

"Oh," James said brightly, "I meant to say – Sirius sends his apologies."

"He couldn't send them himself?"

"I'm sure he would have but – I don't think he knew when he'd see you. I don't know. He's sorry though."

"It's fine," Lily said, "I don't care anymore. I just want to… start again."

"Start what again?"

"Nothing, it's not important."

Another ten minutes or so they walked in silence, until Lily spoke again.

"You're not at all how I thought you'd be."

"What – what do you mean?" James suddenly looked worried.

"Well, from what I've seen of you, you're just this arrogant, self obsessed idiot whose ego couldn't be any bigger, on top of that you have no respect and you're a bully…"

James looked hurt.

"But you aren't so bad."

James frowned. "Am – am I supposed to be offended? Or was that a compliment?"

Lily half smiled. "I'll let you work that out."


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Chapter 6 is up! I've brought Sev back into it, so hopefully this will work out as I'd planned. So, now there is a mutual likeness between James and Lily, they're getting a little cosy. I just wanted to add that while Peter Pettigrew is mentioned often in this fic, he's pretty much a silent character. He's there for the sake of being there, so... I guess you can just ignore him. Happy reading, please review!**

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Lily was spending more and more time with James and his friends, learning to understand that they _were_ alright once she had got to know them, even James. She'd began to feel more comfortable around them and was feeling less guilty about being with them. She surprised herself when she realised that she was actually enjoying most of the time she spent with them.

James had surprised her the most, however. His usual pranks and showing off had been cut down significantly – she'd not actually seen him be cruel to anyone (save the odd irritating first year), although she knew that they were probably still teasing Snape behind his and her back.

Of Snape, Lily had seen very little. She'd seen him in lessons briefly, but he always headed to the back of the room in most classes, either alone or with his new Slytherin friends. This made her feel relieved, in a way. She knew that Snape'd be livid with her befriending James, but as she often repeated, she didn't care anymore. She'd also made her peace with Sirius, who had very sincerely apologised to Lily, and also had returned her wand to her, which he had recovered after digging around in the dirt for an hour.

"Now, today you'll be brewing a particularly tricky potion," Slughorn said after clearing his throat one Potions lesson. "Unfortunately we're a little low on the ingredients needed for the Draught of Living Death, so you'll be working in groups today, please."

Across the room, James gestured to Lily to come and join Sirius, Remus, Peter and himself. She wandered over and joined their group, as she had often found herself doing recently in lessons.

"I hope you don't think you'll be taking any credit when I've brewed this potion perfectly," she smiled teasingly.

"Hey," Sirius held his hands up, "We know you love Potions, and you're bloody good at it. I find it incredibly tedious. Take all the credit you want!"

Slughorn strolled over to them, frowning. "Do you not think five is too large a number for a group? Pettigrew, there's a group over there with just two. Off you pop." Peter looked nervously over at the two girls in the corner.

"Fantastic," James smiled. "This should be good. Wormtail can't even look a girl in the eye, never mind talk to one."

The three boys watched for a while as Peter made a complete fool of himself, frequently dropping vials and spilling ingredients.

"I've been meaning to ask," Lily said as she began to crush an asphodel root. "Why do you have these odd nicknames for each other? I've been trying to work it out but – Well, I get 'Moony'," she whispered. "But the others -"

"Hasn't – hasn't James told you?" Sirius asked blankly, and Lily shook her head, confused.

"Well, like you said, there's Moony," he nodded towards Remus, "Then there's old Wormtail over there, James is Prongs and I'm Padfoot -"

"Yes," Lily said impatiently, "I know _who _is who, I just don't understand why…"

Sirius and James exchanged glances.

"I'm afraid we're going to have to swear you to secrecy again," James leant over and whispered, and Lily nodded eagerly.

"I promise it's safe with me, whatever it is."

"It's kind of… well…"

"Illegal," Sirius finished, and Lily began to think if she should have taken a little more caution before getting involved.

"W-what kind of illegal? You aren't all secret dealers on the black magic market, are you?"

"No," James laughed. "You have to admit though, our intentions were good."

"It does help a lot, actually," Remus chimed in. "Go on, tell her. Can't you see she's itching to know what we're babbling on about?"

"Long story short," Sirius inhaled, then lowered his voice so that Lily had to lean in to hear, "Me and James are unregistered Animagi."

"YOU'RE KIDDING?!" Lily couldn't hold in her interest and surprise as Remus and James hastily shushed her.

"Sirius is a dog and… I'm a stag," James explained.

"Aaah!" Lily's mouth opened wide as she began to understand. "So… Prongs," she gestured antlers coming from her head, "And Padfoot… That's so cool!" she half squealed, then her expression changed. "You idiots! Don't you know how much trouble you can get in for that?!"

"Well, we aren't going to tell," James said pointedly.

"You know I won't," she said. "But… that still doesn't explain why…"

"To keep me company," Remus said simply. "When I… _change, _so do they. They stay with me in the Shrieking Shack and… I don't know really, it just calms me."

Lily's mouth opened wide again, everything clicking into place. "So – that's why James was there that night, when I… And Sirius – you were probably the yelps and whining I kept hearing! Oh, Merlin!"

"Yes, yes. Now you understand," James said, then added. "Close your mouth, would you? You look like an animal with your tongue hanging out like that."

Lily scoffed, then flicked some of the left over Sopophorous Bean juice at him. "Charming!"

James looked down at the juice on his robes, and for a moment Lily thought he was going to go mad. But then he narrowed his eyes and grinned, scooped up some of the juice in his fingers and flung it at Lily's chest.

It wasn't long before Sirius and Remus had joined in and there was a fully fledged bean-juice-fight going on at the back of the classroom.

"Excuse me! Settle down over there, please!" Slughorn called, "Not long to go now, you know."

The group ceased throwing but continued laughing.

"Well, looks like the potion's had it," Lily giggled as the Draught bubbled weakly, giving off an odd scent.

"That'll be, uh, all the bean juice…" Sirius said and then all began laughing again.

When they'd calmed down again, Lily caught James looking at her.

"There's, uh…" he stepped towards her and then suddenly raised two fingers to her cheek and rubbed it. "Got juice on you," he said awkwardly.

"Oh, do you think so?!" Lily chuckled and gestured the rest of her robes. "Thanks," she added, and smiled.

As the three boys went to but back any remaining ingredients, Slughorn approached the table.

"Oh my! Look at this mess! Is this your doing, Miss Evans?" he folded his arms. "You know that you're one of my top students, but this is unacceptable. Detention, eight o'clock, tonight."

Lily gaped at him. "But sir! It's just a little mess, I can clean it up in seconds!"

"Yes, I hope you will, Evans. The detention still stands however."

"But that isn't fair!"

"Eight o'clock," he said firmly, and walked away.

"What's up?" James asked when he saw Lily's furious expression.

"Slughorn!" she exclaimed, "He's just given me a detention for _being messy_."

"You – you didn't take the entire blame, did you?" Remus asked and she nodded.

"Nice one," smiled Sirius, "Thanks."

"Do – do you want us to go and -"

"No, it's fine," Lily shook her head. "I don't have anything better to do tonight, what with you lot off preparing for… y'know."

"Have you, uh, ever had a Potions detention before?" James asked slowly and Lily shook her head.

"I've never had any kind of detention before. Why?"

Sirius grinned. "Let's just say that after tonight you won't be taking all of the blame for anything else."

* * *

Lily left the dungeons at half past ten, hands sore from scrubbing cauldrons that hadn't been cleaned in weeks. She began climbing the Grand Staircase, looking forward to collapsing in bed. As she was entering the seventh floor, she caught something moving in the shadows out of the corner of her eye.

She stopped in her tracks, positive it was just the darkness playing tricks on her eyes. She peered down the corridor, and saw it again – a slight movement in the shadows. As she edged closer she noticed that there was a great black lump slumped against a wall. As she watched it slowly rise and fall, she realised it could be a person.

"H-hello?" she called into the darkness. "Is someone there?"

She heard a soft groan as she drew even closer. "Are you alright? Do – do you need help?"

The lump – or person – moved again, and an arm slid to the floor and brushed a nearby curtain, showering the corridor in moonlight. This barely helped her vision, so she cast_ lumos_. She'd not been expecting the sight that was revealed, and let out a loud gasp.

The lump, which had turned out to definitely be a person, was none other than Snape. He was curled into a ball, slumped against the wall.

"S-Severus?" Lily gasped, and he groaned again. She hurried over to him, relieved but bewildered by what he might be doing sat against the wall in the middle of the night. "What are you doing?"

She placed her hand on his shoulder and shook it gently. His shoulder was wet, which confused Lily further – it wasn't raining outside. She rubbed her fingers together and found that they were sticky. When she held her wand to her hand, she had to stifle a scream as she saw that her hand was covered in blood.

She held her wand high over Snape, attempting to get a better view. The wandlight revealed that the majority of Snape's robes were wet with blood – he had a deep gash in his cheek and several grazes and bruises on his face.

"Oh my – Severus, what happened?!"

He groaned again and she gently tapped his cheek with her palm, trying to rouse him. He hissed with pain and slowly his eyes flickered open.

"Lily…"

His eyes closed again and he breathing slowed. Lily began to panic. She didn't know what to do in a situation like this – she didn't know how badly he was hurt, she didn't know how long he could hold on, they were too far from the hospital wing.

As she panicked over him, every negative feeling Lily had had towards Snape over the last few weeks seemed to vanish. All she cared about now was getting him to safety and helping him.

"Come on – we need to get you – some place safe," she grunted as she hoisted him to his feet, her hands slipping on his wet robes. He seemed to be conscious again as she struggled to steady him. He co-operated with her for a short while, stumbling but managing to support his weight as she guided him. She had no clue where to take him.

_Come on, _Lily thought desperately, _there must be somewhere – an abandoned classroom – store cupboard… Please, I just need somewhere I can take care of him!_

Lily heard an odd creaking, crumbling sound, and before her eyes a door appeared in the wall. Lily's eyes widened, bewildered, feeling slightly hopeful as she fumbled with the handle – Snape had drifted back into unconsciousness and she was struggling to support him.

She pushed open the door and found that it lead to a well lit room that was almost a cross between the hospital wing and the common room – nonetheless, it looked clean and there were a couple of beds, to which Lily dragged Snape the last few feet and placed him there as gently as she could.

"Severus – Sev-" She patted his cheek again but this time there was no response. Blood seemed to be pouring out of him still and Lily was panicking more than ever. His breathing was becoming slower and weaker. Lily had no idea what to do and she began to sob hysterically.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: I feel the story is picking up a little now. We'll see. Snape's back - yaaaay!**

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"Calm down, Lily," she said out loud, wiping her tears. "You need to keep calm and concentrate."

She looked over Snape's still body, wondering where to begin. She began peeling the sodden material from his body, needing to see exactly what damage had been done. After removing his sweater as gently as she could, she saw that his shirt was stained crimson with blood. She started unbuttoning it, her hands shaking wildly.

There wasn't an inch of skin on Severus' torso that wasn't red with blood, bruised or cut. Lily found herself crying again as she tackled the mess on Snape's body, accidentally wiping his blood on her face she brushed away her tears. She began muttering a healing spell, tracing the thin but deep gashes and cuts over his body and watching them slowly heal.

There was one particularly nasty looking wound on the left side of his stomach that was refusing to heal. It must have been this cut that was causing all the bleeding, and it didn't seem to be stopping any time soon.

_Bandages, _she thought, _bandages, healing potion, ANYTHING!_

On a table beside her a roll of clean linen appeared, and next to it a salve of some sort. Lily stared at them, beginning to realise that wherever they were seemed to be listening to and helping her. She grabbed the salve and began dabbing it on the wound and the bleeding began to slow. She then wrapped a bandage around his middle as best she could, hoping what she was doing wouldn't cause further damage.

She noticed that a little colour was returning to Snape's cheeks, which comforted her a little. The wound in his side seemed to have stopped bleeding and she heard his breathing become stronger.

Lily didn't know what else to do but sit and wait. She pulled off her outer-uniform, which was now also damp with Snape's blood, and threw them in the corner on top of his. She climbed into the other bed and pulled the covers up to her chin and waited for any change in Snape.

Lily drifted in and out of sleep over the next two hours, constantly keeping watch over Snape. From what she could tell, he wasn't getting any worse, and he had begun stirring in his sleep which she took as a good sign.

Snape regained consciousness not long after Lily had drifted to sleep. When he awoke, his eyes fluttered open but he stayed lying down, not wanting to rouse anyone that might be present. He gazed slowly around the room as best he could, taking in his surroundings.

At first he thought he was in the hospital wing, but the lack of beds and Madam Pomfrey told him he was somewhere else. He noticed that opposite him, across the room, there was another bed. He strained his neck to see who was occupying it, and then felt a deep sinking feeling in his stomach when he saw who it was.

Snape took a deep breath. He had to remain in control. That's what he'd been trying to focus on for the last month. It had been so hard for him, so _painful, _having to watch Lily get closer to James, not being able to talk to her, to tell her he missed her… To tell her that it didn't matter – he still loved her. But he couldn't. His ever-growing resentment for James and his frustration over Lily was making him bitterer by the day.

And now this. He was alone with Lily now, after weeks of having to avoid her, of barely being able to look at her. He had been trying to forget about Lily, trying to move on – she obviously had had no trouble doing so.

Moreover, Severus had no idea how Lily was going to act towards him. She'd helped him, yes, but Snape knew her too well. She'd help anyone if they were hurt, she was just too kind. He knew Lily'd probably still be furious with him for what he'd said, despite him trying his utmost to apologise.

He hated that Lily was able to occupy his mind like this. He hated that all it took was a simple glimpse and his mind was taken over by thoughts of her. She was the reason he'd had to learn to control himself recently – watching Lily get close to James infuriated him. He often felt like marching over to her and violently shaking her. _Don't you realise what a moron Potter is? Can't you understand that he'll never care for you the way I do?_

He knew she'd never listen to him now, she was far too stubborn.

Snape suddenly became aware of the throbbing in his head, the dull pain of the wound in his side and the general ache of his entire body. He looked down at his torso and saw the neat bandage around his middle and the faint pink and white scars across his chest. He glanced over at Lily, her cheek stained with what he assumed with his dried blood.

He attempted to sit himself up and gritted his teeth as the dull pain in his side became searing as the wound stretched. He hoisted himself up further and the bed gave a loud, high pitched creak, and across the room Lily jolted awake.

Lily gazed over at Snape, thankful he was awake, but when he refused to meet her gaze her face twisted in anger. _How dare he?! _She thought furiously, _I've slaved over you for hours and you can't even look me in the eye, you coward!_

Lily all of a sudden began to feel rather foolish. She'd forgotten she was angry with him. Lily had healed Snape and stayed with him until she was sure he was stable. Of course she'd helped him – she couldn't have left anyone in such a state – but she had not forgotten how he'd treated her… what he'd called her.

_He's fine now, _she thought bitterly, _why am I still here?_

She slid out of the bed and headed for the door, but stopped when Severus spoke.

"What happened?" he asked her quietly, still avoiding eye contact.

She turned and frowned, then folded her arms. "You tell me."

Snape began recalling the events of the previous night, then grimaced. "I'd rather spare you the gory details," he said slowly.

"Oh, fine, that's just fine," Lily snapped, her temper rising. "I've been here all night, cleaning up your blood, worried sick that you were going to _die…_And you aren't even going to bother to tell me how you managed to get into such a mess!"

He looked up at her, surprised, and their eyes met. "You were worried?"

Lily inhaled sharply and looked away from him.

"Of course I was," she muttered, her eyes beginning to water. "How could I not be? You may have forgotten, but we used to be _best friends. _I wasn't going to just leave you there."

Severus cocked his eyebrows a little before lifting the covers and sliding out of the bed, wincing. He poured himself a glass of water and sipped it, Lily watching him angrily, waiting for him to reply.

"If anyone's forgotten, it's you," he mumbled bitterly at her.

"What's that supposed to mean?!" Lily's temper rose again.

He sipped the water again. "Well, evidently you've gotten yourself some new friends, judging by -"

"Don't even go there," Lily hissed at him. "How can you say that, with that… that _scum _you've been hanging around with?!"

Snape's hand unconsciously trailed down to the wound in his side, and Lily's mouth dropped.

"It – it was them, wasn't it?! They've done this to you – Oh, you _idiot – _I _told _you they were bad news, they're treating you worse than James ever did!" Snape winced at the way she said James' name.

"I – I upset one of them. That's all."

Lily's face was a picture of disbelief. "And they did this to you?! They could have _killed _you – they could have… Ugh! You're so stupid to go anywhere near them!"

"WHERE WAS I SUPPOSED TO GO?!" Snape found himself shouting at the top of his voice, and Lily stumbled backwards a little in surprise. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to compose himself. "It was the only place where I fitted in," he said calmly. "With you gone, what was I supposed to do?"

"You could have found yourself some better friends," she snapped.

"What, like you have?" Snape said to her coolly. "Getting pretty cosy with Potter now, aren't you? What – are you too shy to admit you were weak enough to believe he's a _nice guy… _Are you his little _bitch _now, Lily?_" _The words had escaped his lips before he'd had a chance to think. He'd been thinking it for a while now, but had never thought he'd dare say it.

Before Lily knew it she had darted around the bed and slapped Snape sharply across the face. He let out a low hiss as his face jerked to one side, the bruises on his cheek stinging.

"Don't you dare," she hissed.

"You need to calm down," Snape said evenly.

"Don't tell me what to do! He was there for me, after what you did…"

Severus' head shook in uproar. "After that one mistake?! Are you forgetting everything that he put _me _through? And how much that upset you?! Wow, Lily, it really shows how much you care," he finished sarcastically.

"Yeah? Well maybe I don't care about you anymore, _Snape."_

_"Snape?!" _he spat; she'd never used his surname seriously. He soon found himself shouting again. "FINE! IF YOU HATE ME SO MUCH THEN LEAVE – GO ON!" he pointed to the door, glaring at her.

Lily's eyes were brimming with tears – he'd never shouted at her like this before. She stared at the ground biting back sobs. She didn't want to leave. She was furious with Snape for allowing himself to get into such trouble and for what he had called her, but really – in all honesty – had he really meant it? She knew him inside out. She hated him for what he'd said but she knew deep down he was truly sorry. It didn't excuse his behaviour now though – acting like a complete arse.

Snape lowered his arm, and looked down at Lily. "You can't, can you?"

_No, _Lily said in her mind. _I don't want to leave; I want to know that you'll be safe… I want things to be like they were…_

"It – I can't just stop caring," Lily managed, holding back tears. "Feelings don't just… _go."_

Severus smiled weakly. "You don't need to tell me that."

"…I don't hate you," Lily whispered. "You know that, don't you?"

He didn't reply straight away, instead he just pulled her into a tight hug. He just wanted to hold her. She was here now, and she didn't hate him. She still cared – that was enough for him.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into her hair.

Lily wrapped her hands firmly around his waist and nodded silently into his chest. She knew he was sorry – sorry for what he'd called her, what he'd yelled at her, how foolish he'd been, how he'd made her feel, how he'd scared her that night. She knew now. Everything would be okay.

She placed her palms on his chest and pushed him away a few inches. She blinked away the last few tears that still clung to her eyelashes, and then she surprised Snape. Lily leant up onto her tiptoes and tenderly cupped the bruised cheek she had hit just minutes before. She then pressed her lips softly against his, closing her eyes tightly as if praying that this was definitely real.

After quickly getting over the initial shock, Severus gently took a handful of Lily's hair and kissed her back with all the passion he'd been keeping bottled up for her for years. He felt as though an immense weight had been lifted – he'd had the odd inkling before but had never once thought that the feelings he felt for Lily were mutual. He felt positively euphoric.

After a very long moment, they broke apart. Lily smiled up at him weakly, a little embarrassed. Snape just grinned at her.

"So, now what?"

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**AN: Well, unfortunately for Lily, myself and probably a few of readers, things can't just go back to normal (boohoo). I tried to write this as well as I could, sorry if I've let anyone down. Please, please, pls plsplspslpslspl review! :-)**


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